More U2

Lily's First Halloween

He always bought for himself what he wanted when he wanted it, so gifts didn’t ring his bell too much. But after we had Lily he discovered he was a Halloweenie. He loved, loved, loved to take Lily trick or treating. Our first Halloween I dressed her as a little leopard. We put her in the Baby Bjorn and went out ringing bells. George was having so much fun showing her off he failed to notice she was asleep and was getting some strange looks from people when he rang their bells and yelled “trick or treat,” sleeping baby on his chest. I think they thought he was the world’s oldest candy hog.

The next year was the beginning of the fairy costume business. It started when I made Lily the fairy costume I’d always wanted to wear myself (I’ll admit it), and my mom said, “you should sell that. lily looks cute in anything!” So I did start selling them, and that’s a whole other story… but it led to absolute Halloween mania 24/7 at our house.

In the last couple of years, George discovered that he really liked to scare little kids at Halloween. He started collecting props, and stood outside our house absolutely still. My parents and sister Nancy would be all set up on the yard to give out the candy. Everyone thought the thing in the black cape and scream mask was a dummy. When kids got really close, he grabbed them, or jumped, or whatever he thought they could handle. Some of them actually couldn’t handle it and we got a few complaints, but mostly we got tons of kids coming back multiple times with their friends so they could get scared with them.

So the Halloween stuff hurt. A lot. But pretty much everything does.

Bratz, Bratz, Bratz all the time!

Lily is doing well. She is not herself, not at all, but she is with her best girlfriends and mom, and though she’s had trouble sleeping and called out for me last night from her little bunk, she’s quite a trooper. She got scared a bit on the plane when we hit turbulance. I’m a “get back on the horse” kind of girl and I was determined that George’s accident would not keep us from travel, but I admit that while I held her hand and whispered to her about the clouds I had some really dark thoughts. But I felt close to George in the clouds, too. He really loved the clouds, and so does Lily.

Lily Sleeping on the U2 Tour Bus

She’s playing Bratz (have I mentioned what a good friend Lorna is? Bratz, Bratz, Bratz!) and she’s giggling and happy, but very sad. So am I. This trip is a Godsend for two broken hearted girls who are missing “one man in the name of love.” We are listening to the U2 greatest hits and I feel like every song is about George, about us, about loss, about redemption and the cruelty and sadness of life. To all of you currently experiencing loss or sadness in your life, please accept my heartfelt wishes that you have friends, family, music, books, movies, or pets that you can turn to. The past three weeks cut me like a knife, but as a mother, I know Lily and I would be lost without our love, our passions and our futures.

I’m going to have to make a life for this passionate and beautiful little person. We’ll do it together, but we’ll never get over our greatest loss.