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lisa maddox

Milestones

March 8, 2010

Well, we made it through Lily’s 8th birthday, but just barely.
Actually, she seemed okay most of the day, but I was really hurting. It was the six month anniversary of George’s death and seemed like a milestone to me in lots of ways. He’s gone, that’s for sure. No matter how well I know that [...]

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Drifting

February 28, 2010

I’m finding it hard to write. I can’t stick to one subject, one feeling, for long enough to complete a paragraph.
It’s not much of a spectrum, miserable to sad and back again.  I feel stuck in a groove and unable to rock myself out.
I seem to spend a great deal of time reflecting on all [...]

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Without Reservation

February 15, 2010

“I blame the plane,” Lily said, all of a sudden a few days ago. She’s been struggling with the why and the who of George’s death (and who hasn’t?) She doesn’t want it to be any one person’s fault, so the plane is the perfect culprit.
I know how she feels.
Its difficult not to obsess on [...]

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The Dust is Settling

February 5, 2010

I’m learning a little more about what “It takes time,” really involves. It’s just living day by day and trying to calmly observe the death of your former way of  life while keeping  your head and heart in check.
It’s a daily grind, moving toward the time when you’re not totally consumed with grieving. Here are a [...]

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Rage Wave

February 2, 2010

Well, today, two days short of five months since George died, I hit a new bottom.
Not sure why it happened today exactly, but suddenly, sadly, I felt anger rise up and overtake pain. It is unbelievable to me that the world just keeps moving along at its usual pace. People live their lives and I [...]

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