The Building Begins

by fifilaroach on June 10, 2010 · 6 comments

The nice folks at Priesh Construction are working hard to get our house started. I got some pictures today showing progress on the foundation:

The first of many inspections passed!

They have dug holes for the basements so far I guess, and poured the concrete footings. Next, I guess they will start the foundation walls. I’m learning a lot about the many steps it takes to build a house from scratch. Lots of decisions to be made! Lots of meetings, measuring and planning. We had to take a couple of stabs at getting the final building permit, but finally jumped through enough hoops to make that happen. I don’t know much about what each of these pictures represents, except the only thing I’m interested in… progress!

All I care about is that we get into a new house as soon as possible and life can get a bit normal again. These months since George’s death have been extra difficult because the only reason we lived in Reading was for his job, so we are struggling to find meaning to our days.

No job, no reason to be here. It’s as simple as that. We really know no one here, except for the people who help us with various things. I’ve made just a couple of friends. Now, with George gone, every day is an excruciating reminder of his absence since our days here had always been designed to conform to his schedule.

When George was working there was always quite a bit of hubbub around our house. He didn’t go to work until evening, so when he had a good schedule, he got up around 4 PM and visited with Lily, reading to her, watching a favorite show, or just goofing around. Then we ate right before he left. After he was gone we settled down to homework and TV and cleaning the kitchen.

doing whatever they're doing

But so much of our lives were about waiting for George. Waiting for the rare good schedule. Waiting for him to get home later and later at night. Waiting for him to get up as his ever more demanding schedule made sleep demands more and more of a barrier to any sort of family life. Waiting for him to be ready to hang out with us. He was a precious commodity in our home. Sometimes I feel we’re still waiting for him to come home. “Its possible he could come back,” Lily said to me. “I don’t think so, honey,” I told her. “Don’t be such a negative thinker,” she told me.

She still believes we can wish, pray or dream him back. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? No more worrying about how she will grow up with out a dad. No more feeling of being lost, of not having completed a task I was completely committed to. No more going over and over all of our negative feelings about his job, about the safety of the job, about our decision not to change jobs even though we felt concern about what might happen one night when he was flying.

Looking like its important!

What a joy that would be! Not have to think all these negative thoughts. To be able to stop questioning our decisions. To have five minutes to agree that it was time to move on, no matter what the monetary consequences, and start packing our bags.

Well, now we’re finally packing our bags, but we’re one family member short. And I have to say that the family does not work as well without George. What’s missing is his willingness to keep things together… take out the garbage, change the light bulbs, pay the bills, research our next purchase. Gone is the stern voice that told Lily in no uncertain terms what was expected of her. He took care of us carefully and in a way that touched my heart with its thoroughness and dedication.

Hope they know what they're doin!

But what I miss the most, to the point of nightly tears, is his singular humor, his unique view of the world and how, whether we agreed or disagreed about things at the end of the day he was still in a good mood and open to talking some more the next day. I guess that’s what a marriage is, really, agreeing to continue the discussion the next day and the day after that. And somehow, our next day got taken away from us. So I’m sad, and lonely and lost, and I want to leave this house, where we played garbageman (George threw Lily on the couch over and over)… The house where we had our first Thanksgiving, just the three of us (when Lily became obsessed with candles, and still is)… Where we would spend a whole day watching monster movies, with a break for George to “pop out for supplies” which turned out to be movie monster toys he’d gotten at Toys R Us and tons of hot dogs for dinner. For several years I couldn’t move in my den without setting off Godzilla or Mothra or King Kong.

So we’re moving to Asheville, and we’ll take the monster toys, and I’ll try to help Lily remember her daddy. Lots of people are trying to help us move, and I’m attaching pictures of some of the progress thats been made. I’ll be coming to Atlanta soon and I look forward to seeing old friends and starting to imagine us living in a new place, and starting to dream of some of my friends visiting us in our new home.

It’s a long road ahead of us before we’ll be living in our new home, but the first big and significant change will be when Lily, Sara and I move to the bungalow at the front of the property to wait for the larger houses to be finished. That starts August 15. We’ll be there through Thanksgiving and Christmas, the builder tells me, though Lily sits in the lotus positions nightly praying we’ll be in the house by Christmas. She wants to spend it with her Grandparents while everyone is still around to participate. We’ll see who wins, the schedule, or Lily. I’m betting on Lily.

Good night all!