My sister found this article about Facebook and grieving on Time Magazine’s website. After encouragement from Facebook friends, I sent the following Letter to the Editor:
George
My pilot husband, George Maddox, died four months ago after being involved in a plane crash at Teterboro airport.
Like all accidents it was shockingly sudden, and I was left bereft, confused and horribly lonely.
A recent Facebook participant, I reached out to the friends I had connected with to post updates during his two week struggle with third degree burns in the hospital. When he lost his battle I shared my experience of his death in great detail with my Facebook friends, writing an intimate account of sharing death with a loved one.
I continued to share regarding memorial services, my future plans and my seven year old daughter’s struggle to understand her father’s sudden disappearance from her life.
Facebook friends offered amazing kindnesses, financial support, and comforting insights. People I’d never met joined our group and have become confidants and counselors. Strangers sent me books on grief, gifts for my daughter and countless good wishes.
I can honestly say that Facebook saved my life. Sharing with friends is a big part of why it helped me survive George’s passing… But for me, Facebook became itself another friend, a safe, non-judgemental presence, always there, ever accepting. As time moved on, I became aware that people were following my journey through the comments they posted. I felt driven to continue writing and sharing my journey.
The frequent posts have helped me to begin to accept George’s death, and have allowed me to share a great deal of information about my husband, a unique and fascinating man. Through Facebook, I’ve created a living memorial to him, a journal for my daughter to one day read, and a community for other people who continue to mourn him, and their own lost loved ones.
I cannot imagine an easier or better way to swim through the deep waters of grief than through Facebook. I will forever be grateful for its presence at this difficult time in my life.
Facebook Page: George Maddox, Heart Full of Soul
Website: http://www.rememberinggeorge.com
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{ 8 comments }
Thanks Lisa, Wish there would have been a F/B 13 years ago! I didn’t realize how much I didn’t deal with so long ago! Through your postings I have dealt with a lot of my own supressed grief! Better late than never I suppose! I had a lot of Family & Friends support but always felt that no one understood my grief! So thank you Lisa & F/B! Keep posting! All my love & prayers! Jeannie
Back at you, Jeannie.
YOU GO, GIRL!
Your letter gives me goosebumps.
Since death in the inevitable part of life, in some ways your stories are preparing me for that time. I know it just doesn’t affect other people – that it too will eventually affect me. Just hearing your voice as you go thru this is jaring, painful and yet at the same time, somewhat comforting. It’s making my life richer …and me more appreciative of my loved ones. Thank you.
Lynne
Thanks, Lynne. I hope you don’t have to face something like this for a long, long time.
Once again you amaze us with your strength. I still see a book in your future and see Lily as the artist designing the cover. 14
Thanks Becky. Good idea on the cover. I hope I can get it all together into a book form for Lily. She’ll want to know all of this one day.
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