Comments on: Midnight Ramblings… http://rememberinggeorge.com/2009/12/12/394/ A blog about my late husband, George Maddox, who died after being injured in a plane crash. About grief, marriage, love and unexpected loss. Sun, 05 Sep 2010 14:35:38 -0400 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Pam http://rememberinggeorge.com/2009/12/12/394/comment-page-1/#comment-921 Pam Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:35:11 +0000 http://rememberinggeorge.com/?p=394#comment-921 This processing of what happened and all the "what if's" and "should I have's" are a very normal part of grief. I didn't know that until I went through it. Very often, grief feels like guilt. I did the same thing you're doing. I made a long mental list of things I could have/should have done but cannot. For me, it was the most difficult part of the whole ordeal. Every time I went through my guilt list, the Lord Jesus would show me that I was just missing my husband and that's why I felt the way I did. This processing of what happened and all the “what if’s” and “should I have’s” are a very normal part of grief. I didn’t know that until I went through it. Very often, grief feels like guilt. I did the same thing you’re doing. I made a long mental list of things I could have/should have done but cannot. For me, it was the most difficult part of the whole ordeal. Every time I went through my guilt list, the Lord Jesus would show me that I was just missing my husband and that’s why I felt the way I did.

]]> By: Michael http://rememberinggeorge.com/2009/12/12/394/comment-page-1/#comment-731 Michael Sun, 13 Dec 2009 16:48:51 +0000 http://rememberinggeorge.com/?p=394#comment-731 The people of Quest Diagnostics are more than employees. We are a family. And when one family member hurts we all hurt. The truth is that there are no answers, only questions. The only answer I have is that when I meet the pilot at Teterboro to give him what he landed for I always think of a pilot who did his job to the best of his ability and now his job is complete. It’s nice to know that he has a family who loves him very much. No one could hope for more than that. The people of Quest Diagnostics are more than employees. We are a family. And when one family member hurts we all hurt. The truth is that there are no answers, only questions.

The only answer I have is that when I meet the pilot at Teterboro to give him what he landed for I always think of a pilot who did his job to the best of his ability and now his job is complete.

It’s nice to know that he has a family who loves him very much. No one could hope for more than that.

]]> By: joy http://rememberinggeorge.com/2009/12/12/394/comment-page-1/#comment-703 joy Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:27:50 +0000 http://rememberinggeorge.com/?p=394#comment-703 I think it's perfectly normal to rehash the events over and over. Perhaps it's one way we humans come to terms with tragedy and loss. We humans are a curious bunch and inherently we want/seek answers even if we know whatever we find out won't change the current status. All I can share with you is something you already know, you will find a way through this. Your experience has changed you into a stronger woman and mommie and at the end of this tunnel, you will look back and be amazed. Hang in there. I read your posts with eagerness and share in part the emotions of your journey. Joy I think it’s perfectly normal to rehash the events over and over. Perhaps it’s one way we humans come to terms with tragedy and loss. We humans are a curious bunch and inherently we want/seek answers even if we know whatever we find out won’t change the current status. All I can share with you is something you already know, you will find a way through this. Your experience has changed you into a stronger woman and mommie and at the end of this tunnel, you will look back and be amazed. Hang in there. I read your posts with eagerness and share in part the emotions of your journey.
Joy

]]> By: betsy http://rememberinggeorge.com/2009/12/12/394/comment-page-1/#comment-698 betsy Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:38:31 +0000 http://rememberinggeorge.com/?p=394#comment-698 somehow knowing you did the best you could is not helpful when you are in flashback mode. i'm not sure that knowing this is a normal reaction to a mind-numbing loss is helpful either, even though it is. best i can do is let you all know that you remain in my prayers. you will look back on this and not know how you got through it. the experience has already changed you, and will continue to change you as long as you have memory. and when it's cellular, soul memory, the only way to ultimately use that energy which now keeps you up nights is to let the changes occur, however they may...hugs, b somehow knowing you did the best you could is not helpful when you are in flashback mode. i’m not sure that knowing this is a normal reaction to a mind-numbing loss is helpful either, even though it is. best i can do is let you all know that you remain in my prayers. you will look back on this and not know how you got through it. the experience has already changed you, and will continue to change you as long as you have memory. and when it’s cellular, soul memory, the only way to ultimately use that energy which now keeps you up nights is to let the changes occur, however they may…hugs, b

]]> By: Jeannie Hebert http://rememberinggeorge.com/2009/12/12/394/comment-page-1/#comment-696 Jeannie Hebert Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:04:53 +0000 http://rememberinggeorge.com/?p=394#comment-696 Awwh! Lisa this will pass in time! I remember dreaming similiar dreams..I longed to see my Eddie in my dreams and everytime it was these aweful nightmares leading to his death just as they happened in vivid detail! I relived that night over & over the cpr technique did i do something wrong? then in my dreams we would meet and it was not pleasant reliving old arguments and such...then i remember the dreams when we would visit at places i yet to see(one dream we danced on a clear floor with beautiful gold ribbons all around the border inlaid under what looked like a glass floor) everywhere i go i look for this floor but i yet to find it! heaven maybe? Anyway I believe when you find some peace your dreams will become a beautiful meeting place for you & George remember they say "only in your dreams"! I believe this is all a part of accepting the reality of what has happened! I believe our mind & soul can only accept so much pain at one time so we have to accept it in pieces over time so that we can go on! Just know you are not alone dear friend! wish we were closer I would love to sit and listen over a good cup of coffee..but this is all we have so please know i am still here waiting on your writings! Love to you all,Jeannie Awwh! Lisa this will pass in time! I remember dreaming similiar dreams..I longed to see my Eddie in my dreams and everytime it was these aweful nightmares leading to his death just as they happened in vivid detail! I relived that night over & over the cpr technique did i do something wrong? then in my dreams we would meet and it was not pleasant reliving old arguments and such…then i remember the dreams when we would visit at places i yet to see(one dream we danced on a clear floor with beautiful gold ribbons all around the border inlaid under what looked like a glass floor) everywhere i go i look for this floor but i yet to find it! heaven maybe? Anyway I believe when you find some peace your dreams will become a beautiful meeting place for you & George remember they say “only in your dreams”! I believe this is all a part of accepting the reality of what has happened! I believe our mind & soul can only accept so much pain at one time so we have to accept it in pieces over time so that we can go on! Just know you are not alone dear friend! wish we were closer I would love to sit and listen over a good cup of coffee..but this is all we have so please know i am still here waiting on your writings! Love to you all,Jeannie

]]>